Its Your Life
by J.Jenningsaus
Summary: Andy realising that life its her life and she needed to win back Sam


Not my most amazing one, it was something I had been working on for the last month as this song is amazing and it really fits Andy , hope you enjoy , the song it Its your Life by Francesca Battistelli

oh and there are some quotes in there from season 1,2,3 there are all in ""

Please review and please if you get a chance read my other stories Thanks Again Erin

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Moods , they can changes so quickly from a different thought to watching something on TV or like me today work to listening to a song it's made my mood change so quickly. Maybe is should start with what happen , Hi Im Andy McNally and after falling head over heels in love with Sam Swarek , We stuff up and ended up on 3 months suspension away from each other and from work , doesn't sound that bad right, we lasted 2 years of not being together before that so 3 months couldn't do that much damage to our relationship right …. Wrong , its like we are back to were we started , well nearly , we both still know there is something between us , its what got us here in the first place but after coming home from 3 months away something was different , Sam picked me up from the airport , but didn't want to talk about us , he got his job back yesterday , so he was all cop again , as much as I love that about him , its not what I wanted , not what I needed him to be right then and there, he was all about the job and when we got talking about what I was going to say to the big bosses it was like he wasn't happy with my answer , after the drive home and after taking a shower I still had time , a lot of time , to much time to wait until I needed to go to headquarters for my meeting to fine out my fate. 5 hours what would a normal person do with that about of time , as I looked around my place I decided to clean it up , I had been gone for a while and it was looking dusty as I threw my clothes I took with me away in the washing machine and push start I turned my iPod dock on it was too quite, I hated it, finding the playlist I wanted and pressing shuffle I moved to kitchen just as turned to open the fridge when the lyrics started.

_This is the moment_  
_It's on the line_  
_Which way you gonna fall?_  
_In the middle between_  
_Wrong and right_  
_But you know after all_

I knew the song its one of my favourites Traci gave me the album last Christmas and this song just stood out to me for many a reason but mainly I could relate this song my everyday. Right now its meant more then every as I was in the middle of wrong and right , between wrong seeing Sam and getting in trouble and maybe losing my job but right in I had found the one person who changed my look out on life he changed me .

_It's your life_  
_What you gonna do?_  
_The world is watching you_  
_Every day the choices you make_  
_Say what you are and who_  
_Your heart beats for_  
_It's an open door_  
_It's your life_

As I closed the fridge door and walk over to the couch I turned the ipod up a little and really listened to the song as my thoughts were answering all the question its really did make things clearer, Im a McNally and before I even started as a cop the world was watching me waiting for me to mess up , I had stuffed up a lot in my first 2 years on the job but nothing as bad as seeing Sam while he was under cover nothing as scary as almost losing Sam or my job , I made that choice to see him I made the choice to go back I made the choice to forget about my job for the night I wasn't Andy McNally that night I was Candice and he was J.D, as I let a tear roll down myself I realise I could have die doing it but was it worth it , was Sam , my old T.O , worth it. After Luke nothing was feeling right in my life until him , until Sam

_Are you who you always said you would be?_  
_With a sinking feeling in your chest_  
_Always waiting for someone else to fix you_  
_Tell me when did you forget_

Im a cop now , will maybe , I remember saying when I was younger all I wanted to be was just like daddy so I cop without the alcohol problem , I looking up after wiping a tear to see the photo hanging above my fireplace it was one of me and Sam , there is a sinking feeling in my chest , I always need someone to help me I was always getting myself into trouble weather on the job or in my relationships something would always go wrong, if I couldn't help myself I would find someone who could, Sam was always there while he was away it was Traci she didn't help as much as Sam , maybe I did forget I needed to live for myself but everything I did always when back to Sam , he has and I know he will always be there for me when I need him , his words were, "Im there when it matters " he really was.

_It's your life_  
_What you gonna do?_  
_The world is watching you_  
_Every day the choices you make_  
_Say what you are and who_  
_Your heart beats for_  
_It's an open door_

As another tear rolls down my cheek , I realise I could be losing him , after what I told him in the car , I basically said I don't care about us all I care about is my job , when he asked me about what I was going to say to get my job back, I told him I was going to say the truth , he comes back with " ok officer McNally, 3 month suspension for conduct on becoming what have you learned?" I stupidly said "I have learnt my lesson , the hard way , and I have followed every rule of the suspension to the letter, and I will continue to do so if you reinstate me. Im here to keep my emotions in check , to protect and serve, cause that is my job, and god knows I love my job." Re-thinking it , I really have lost him , I really did say I only care about my job ,

_To live the way that you believe_  
_This is your opportunity_  
_To let your life be one that lights the way_

I need him to know I love him , really and truly love him and as much as I love my job he is more important , as I grab my phone and press call I know I only have one opportunity to win him back its maybe slow but I need him to know I still care, as it got to 4 rings I didn't think he would pick up but it hit 5 rings and Sam voice came thought, Swarek , he said , Sam ok so what I said before in the car , its was only half true , and please just let me get this all out before you start talking unless you are on a job then I guess we can talk about this after my meeting with headquarters, umm McNally you need to slow your talking down and no Im not busy I was just getting lunch so ok talk what was only half of the truth, I love you Sam , I know I didn't put it in my speech but I don't really think headquarters could care but I do , me being away for 3 months away from work and god damn away from you , changed me , I guess I have maybe turned into you a little I see an opportunity that I want I take it , so this is my opportunity , I can't go backward and losing you would do that, you said the night when we got back to your undercover apartment , after I said I didn't want to leave " if you don't leave now , there is no going back" and I said "I don't wanna go back" and Sam I really don't you mean the world to me , and this time apart had really made me see that , I not me without you. As I took a breathe I wondered what he was thinking, Sam we finally have the change to start over for real , for us , Andy, he cut in , "all you wanted was to keep being a cop , all I wanted was you" Andy you need to understand I would have been happy to lose my job and have you in my life, but and I can't believed Im saying this but Andy I need you in my life too , 3 months was too long don't tell jerry or oliver but I was barely coping without you here it was like a piece of me had died . so after your meeting with headquarters and after my shift today can we talk face to face, but really talk no funnier business I think we both need to understand what the other is and was thinking ok . as I felt yet another tear roll down my face , I nodded forgetting I was still on the phone Sam yes that would be good how about dinner at mine at say 8 tonight. As he agrees and said he needed to get back to work we said our goodbye and hung up.

_It's your life_  
_What you gonna do?_  
_The world is watching you_  
_Every day the choices you make_  
_Say what you are and who_  
_Your heart beats for_  
_It's an open door_

As much as its my life and I love my job if I didn't get it back , I wasn't going to be upset I was more happy to the possibly of having Sam back in my life then my job as I looked at the clock to quickly got changed and headed out to see my fate…

_It's your life_  
_What you gonna do?_  
_The world is watching you_  
_Every day the choices you make_  
_Say what you are and who_  
_Your heart beats for_  
_It's an open door_  
_It's your life_  
_It's your life_

Getting home with a smile on my face I pressed play on my ipod dock again with the same song coming on putting me in an even better mood this song had changed my whole day and will to be honest my life , just as I put the steaks on the grill there was a knock at the door as I looked at the clock to see it was 7.55 early as always I said as I opened to door to see Mr. amazing staring as me with my favourite bottle in his hand , all I could do was smile , as I let him in and took his jacket , I couldn't wait much longer even thou it was part of our problem as I turned back to face him I let it slip out , Im back I got my job back and Sam babe , I really need us to work on us , as I know we can't be partners at work , I would really like us to be partners at home with a smile on his face he slowly leaned down and with a soft kiss to my lips I knew it would be ok. Maybe not right away but we were heading the right way .

I knew it's my life and its can change so fast just like moods.


End file.
